Bridal Party Bank Drain by Dresses

A recent trend has me gritting my teeth at night. Yes, I even dream weddings.

It is also a trend that has me sweating bullets on wedding days.

This trend is brides having their attendants either make their own dresses or have them custom made by either a mother, grandmother, friend, professional dress maker or tailor.

The hand made, home made dress trend started because someone spread around a rumor that it is more cost effective than purchasing dresses out of collections at retail stores, bridal chains or boutiques. Listen to me....this is, most often, a gross untruth.

There are a few exceptions to the rule on this one. For example, if everyone in the bridal party is a seamstress and they WANT to make their dresses, the fabric is inexpensive (even when you purchase a lining for it), and all of the undergarments, shoes and jewelery are purchased and the total overall cost is under $300.

However, most of the time it is more cost effective, less time consuming and less stressful for all involved if a bride and her attendants look at dresses together, deciding what option everyone can live with. Especially with all of the skirt and top separates out there now, it is easy to create the right look for individual body types while maintaining a color theme.

Here is my own "build it your self bridesmaid dress" horror story:

Five years ago I was invited to be an bridesmaid at my sister-in-law's wedding. She wanted each of us to choose whatever dress pattern we liked and have it made (as long as the skirt reached floor length) out of fabric she had hand picked. This fabric was beautiful....a dark burgundy, sueded silk with a small pattern in it. The fabric felt rich under your fingers (and it well should have at sixty-yes 60-dollars a yard). However, the fabric itself was very thin, especially for a formal wedding in Autumn in the Pacific North West.

The bride pre-ordered every attendant five yards of fabric, which we were to pay for ourselves. Now, at the time I rang in at a whopping 100 lbs. sopping wet, and I'm only a little over 5 feet tall. I needed no more than two yards to make my entire dress, but still had to pay for the additional yardage.

Now, she was getting "a great deal", for the bridesmaids that lived in her area, from a seamstress that would do each dress and top for approximately $100 each. I, however, didn't live in that area. Now, both of my grandmothers sew, but one lives in Hawaii and the other is in her 90's...not likely either could help. And I can't stitch a lick.

I had to search to find someone who could custom make my dress. On top of this, the fabric needed a backing (and no, you can't use the same fabric for that, it won't look right. There are special backing fabrics.). Plus I had to purchase a slip and undergarments. I, thankfully, was able to have my bra cups sewn into the top so I didn't have to worry about bra straps falling down or any peeking, but it came also at and additional cost. The woman who made my dress did a lovely job, but it was not a dress I was ever going to wear again.

There were other demands by the bride about our shoe type and the jewelry we could and could not wear, but the hardest part? The sueded silk had to be stroked by a hand glove made specially to lay the fibers in one direction so you didn't look like a patchwork quilt walking down the aisle. So, just before the wedding I had some strange woman running her "special" mit all over my body.

You'd think I was safe after I'd been smoothed down, right?

Nope.

My husband decided to give me a smack on the bottom right as I walked down the aisle (for good luck). And it left a giant hand print right on my butt. The print was completely visible because I was the last one in line.

But wait, there is more...I ended up standing over the air vent in the church, which was on full blast in an upward direction. So my dress, with a slit up the back to my knee, was floating in the freezing wind. I had to play "Marilyn Monroe" the whole hour long ceremony.

So, in the end, my dress ended up costing me approximately $700.

The other girls had problems too. One zipper didn't work. One middle seam along the bottom of a larger girl tore open on the dance floor.

I'm writing about this now because I recently had a bride come to me that wanted to do this for her wedding...and assured me all of the attendants are great seamstresses. Well, now her mother-in-law-to-be is sewing all of the dresses. Two are done, out of six. And there are two flower girl dresses to be made as well. And the wedding is less than six weeks away. Oh, and one of the attendants lives in another state (so they're just hoping the dress fits). And the mother-in-law-to-be also has a full-time job and a household to run on top that. That leaves plenty of time to make dresses, right?

Yeah, maybe the fabric is a great deal. Maybe someone you know is able to sew...but heed my warning, and picture in your mind all of the things that can go wrong by making your own dresses (because many of them will)...and then go to your local dress chains and pick something you can live with, that is in a price range your attendants can afford.

I've spent time researching the price differences in buying vs. making bridesmaid dresses, and the breakdown is as follows:

The low end purchased dresses are under $150.00
Middle End is $150-$250
High End is $250 and up.

Making those same dresses on your own will add anywhere from 30%-70% to the dress cost. The average is a 50% addition in cost for having dresses made.

Even if you have a family member making them, think of the time it takes them. If you are thinking a "thank you" card is enough, please think again. Paying them for their work, in some way, is essential.

It's really up the bride and her attendants with regard to making dresses versus buying dresses, but make sure you've considered all of the options, all of the pluses and all of the minuses before taking on such an onerous task.

And most of all...good luck in your search!