Bridal Bliss to Budget Bust: Part Two

Let's see....we left at, "how do you fix it?" Let's just get down to brass tacks.

First, for the sake of making this all relevant, let's do a little budget reminder. Your site fees (which typically include tables, chairs, linens, china, etc.) and catering cost (food, beverage and service) allotments should add up to approximately 50% of the total wedding budget. So, in this case, a total budget would be $30,000.00. We left off last time with $21,000.00 of that already spent.

Remember that the bride, groom and I have already done a "Round Robin" with the contract, but I haven't spoken to that "lovely site person, behind a large mahogany desk" yet. It is my firm belief that personal meetings go a lot farther than telephone calls do, so I use the telephone only briefly to make an introduction and an appointment to go over the contract with the sales associate. This usually requires the couple also calling the sales associate, to introduce their coordinator, permitting contact to occur.

(I get some grumbling about this phone call because it's just one more thing brides and grooms have to do on the way to that alter, but it is for a good reason...privacy issues and identity fraud. Soon I'll tell you an anecdote about how it can and nearly did happen to one of my own. Look for an upcoming post called: "But I don't have a sister....")

The meeting.

Meeting with the sales person for the first time is best done one-on-one, coordinator vs. sales person. I've found it works best to use a third person to mediate (or leverage) a settlement, rather than an emotional bride and groom trying to do it alone or with a coordinator trying to tend to them and still try to make "the deal". And, since you'll be married forever, having a third party use mediation techniques, which are used in divorce all the time, will give you one-time option to see how it works!

Above all, discussions with the sales person must be totally honest, open and very....saccharine. Remember the old, catching flies with honey bit? This is the time to use it. Depending on the policies of the venue, a few things can happen. The most likely are:

Option One

You'll get "extras" thrown into the package you currently have. Such as, a night or two in a premium room for the bride and groom (if the location is a hotel), an extra hour to take photos on their premises and an extra side dish selection, or chair covers and the specialty linens. This is where asking for the moon comes in. If you get a handful of stars, be ecstatic. Usually you'll get one or two.

Option Two

You can discuss options for stepping out of the contract, forfeiting the date reservation there, and moving on. Sometimes when this is done immediately, a couple can walk away without losing anything but time. Then again, sometimes, there will be a fee attached for having the venue hold the date (meaning, not being able to sell it to someone else while it was under contract). And this fee...can be darn near anything.

If the fee is already stated in an exit clause of the contract, then you already know what you're in for. Often it can be very high, so negotiating works well here too. However, if there is no fee mentioned, I suggest making a peace offering to the venue for all of their trouble. If a contract was signed less than five days ago, I suggest offering $100 a day for their inconvenience. If it has been more than five days, the offer might look like this: $500 for a week, $1,000 for two weeks, and so on.

Now, I hear those of you out there going..."I thought she was going to tell us how to fix our budget, not spend more money"...$500 to fix a 4 or 5 thousand dollar mistake can sometimes be in the best interest of all involved. Even paying up to $2,500 would make this a better situation. Keep in mind what your end goal is going to be. It would be better to find a new venue for $15,000, and pay $2,500 to get out of the fix you're in now, than to pay $21,000.00. Right?

Option Three

You're stuck.

You're saying to yourselves right now: What do you mean....we're stuck?

Well, it might not be as bad as you think. If this is the place of your dreams and you're getting great food, service and rental items...then not all is lost. The good news is, you still have options. Since the first thing all good couples do is find their venue (right?!?), there is still a lot of wiggle room in the budget. Side note: another good first thing to do is pick a coordinator.

First, remembering that the guests are there to enjoy this life changing event with you, and not necessarily the floral arrangements or the fancy save-the-date cards and matching themed invitations, can help a great deal. And, if you're thinking to yourself right now, "these don't sound like my guests", then you need to change your guest list!

Which brings us to...changing the guest list!

Reviewing your guest list can be very helpful when looking at places to cut your budget. Many couples feel obligated to let single friends invite dates, or to let their parents invite people that they've never or rarely met (such as bosses, neighbors, etc). These extra people can be whittled down to those precious few that actually make up your families and nearest-and-dearest extended families and friends. Think about the true core of people in your lives. These should be the people sharing in your wedding day with you. And, by shaving a percentage off of your guest list, you can save a lot of money when it comes to other things!

Many people are adverse to down sizing their guest lists, but I have to tell you, a smaller and more intimate crowd of people often gives a wedding more magic. There are rarely awkward seat pairings between people who have never met or will ever meet again, it gives the bride and groom more time to spend with each and every guest, and so on.

Also, if you're downsizing your guest list, why not downsize your wedding party too? If you haven't already asked people to be your wedding attendants, then think about limiting the number to two or three a piece. Many couples feel a need for 5, 6, 7 or 8 wedding attendants...EACH! Purchasing gifts for all 10, 12, 14 or 18 bridesmaids and groomsmen then becomes a giant financial burden (at $100 each, that could be $1,800.00!).

If you go from a guest list of 150 down to 125 0r even 110, you'll find prices in other categories plummeting. You can order fewer invitations, you don't need as many favors, and you'll need fewer floral arrangements because you have fewer tables.

Other options?

You wanted peonies...in August? Being mindful of which flowers are in season during your wedding period will help defray costs in a way you might not believe!

Make your own invitations. Or hire a friend that makes amazing scrapbooks to help you, instead of doing the letter pressed-heavy weight card stock-with gold leafing invitations, programs and menu cards, can also save you lots of precious and finite money.

You can even cut cost with favors. Do what one of my previous couples did and give one favor per couple, while giving singles their own. Or just making a one time donation to your favorite charity (you'll get cards you can put on each table, or often at each place setting to inform your guests of the charitable gift in their honor). You'd be saving your budget, while helping someone else. That should feel good!

There are many ways to help put your budget back on the track to bridal bliss. Remember to be honest about your budget, be real in deciding how to balance your needs and your wants, and be creative!

Let your dream begin.